He got Married. I Stayed Single.
I believe everyone has that someone who they refer to as The One Who Got Away (TOWGA). TOWGA is that person you broke up with and had the most difficult time moving on.
There are those who took a long time but eventually recover. Some, though they won’t admit, are still waiting to have a second chance, claiming to let time decide their fate. There are also those who never moved on and remained unattached ever since the relationship with TOWGA ended. Not intentionally though, it’s just that it has been difficult to let anyone get close again. It’s the fear of rejection and the fear of having to go through the entire cycle of moving on that hold people back from trying to build serious relationships.
I’m sure there are different stories and reasons on why it didn’t work out. Not a lot of people had a chance to get their closure and say what they wanted to say before they part ways. Today’s post is different. This is an Open letter from one of our avid readers, to her TOWGA. Sad to say, they didn’t get to talk much after the break up and she lacked the guts to talk to him personally. Please help share the story so that eventually, it may reach the attention of the person the letter is for.
How are you? How have you been? It has been a while since we last saw / spoke to each other. Just the other day, I bumped into someone we both knew and was surprised with the news that you’re getting married. I didn’t ask but she blurted it out anyway and even asked if I was invited to your wedding. I wasn’t prepared for this so I just answered, “I wish him well”.
As soon as I got home, that’s when it hit me. I asked myself how I feel about finding out you’re getting married. I feel as though I’m okay but there’s a part of me which feels hurt. There’s a lot that remains unsaid.
I want to say I’m sorry. Back then, I know I acted immaturely. I hid my feelings for you for a long time and when we did became a couple, I asked that our relationship be kept a secret. I didn’t think about it before but you must have felt belittled. You were jealous of my boy friends but I insisted on spending time with them. When they asked for our status, I denied being in a relationship with you. We both didn’t think it was okay then to be the talk of the town but thinking back, I know I placed you on a difficult position.
We broke up several times. Most of the time I initiated it, but we always got back together. I had to work in Manila and spend several months there. We agreed to stay in touch and we will come to visit each other often. There will be weeks I’ll go see you and there will be moments you will come and see me. It went well for a few months. After a while, you’ve tried convincing me to go back to the province. We had a fight and again, I decided we should break up. I thought it’ll be the same as always. I thought we’ll find a way to be with each other again. A year later, I tried winning you back. I resigned from my work in Manila and went back to the province.
I was excited to see you again, we talked over coffee. You asked me if I have a boyfriend. I felt giddy with excitement thinking this our chance to get back together, I said “I don’t have one.” I returned the question but wasn’t prepared when you said you were in a relationship. I was heartbroken but I didn’t lose hope. We said we’ll think it over and see if our love deserves another chance. However, on the same day, I got a text message from you and I was devastated with your decision to finally end what we had.
And that was it. It has been years since we broke up but I’m still single. Not by choice. I’ve tried getting to know people. I tried to be in relationships but for some reason it didn’t work out. I guess, secretly, I’ve been saving myself for you. I didn’t realize it soon enough. I was waiting for fate or destiny to find a way to get us back together. I got stuck with what ifs. But I didn’t make any move until it’s too late.
I don’t blame you. Of course, you had to move on. Our story just isn’t the Fairy tale one I have imagined. Because in reality, there is no Fairy tale story. Life is what you make it.
I wish you well. I wish you happiness. May you receive the love you deserve. Thank you for the memories and the chance to feel loved. I hope when and if we see each other again, I won’t feel this much pain and can honestly look you in the eyes and say what I mean to say. You may have decided to move on a long while ago, but I’m only making the conscious decision to do this today. I’ve been afraid, horrified in fact, to try again but today I lost my sole excuse.
I don’t know what God has planned for me but it couldn’t get any worse from how I feel today. I will stand strong. I will learn from this experience. So that when I get to meet the person I’m meant for, I can finally say I’m ready to give love another try.
What’s your story? Share in the comments below.
